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Monday, March 23, 2009

Murder at Woolworths

So, here's the story........

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary

He then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'

Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.

Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Woolworths store.

There he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands.

As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene.

Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard who immediately called the police.

Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared....

(You're going to hate me for this...).



  1. HAHAHAhahahaaaa....I Hope this wasn't True but in These times, it could be!! Thanks for popping over to my blog!! You stop in Anytime!!hughugs

  2. You had me going for a while with your tale of marriage problem resolution.

    You live in such a lovely part of Australia. I would wish a little more water for you folk. We are abunbdant in water here in Canada.

    We are waiting for the warm weather as you can tell from my blog. Our summer's are shorter than we would like but they are lovely.

    Your joke you cut the phrase out in your comment has many versions
    The most polite version I would use is "up and down like a toilet seat in a coed dorm". :)

    Stop by my blog anytime.

  3. I loved it! 'Gotta' pass it on if you don't mind.

  4. Terrible, I love it!!!


  5. Ha ha - too funny. Now that I've got my morning giggle out of the way - the dishes await!

    Cheers - Joolz

  6. Hi Cathy,
    Lol ! My DS is a Produce Manager,I'll have to tell him this one.
    HAve a great wk.

  7. Oh I love it and im sitting here chuckling away to myself.

  8. This was funny, well not the murders, but the punch line!


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