Remember - if I offend use the remote
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar....
After awhile, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland '
The other responds proudly, 'Yes, that I am!'
The first one says, 'so am I!
And where about from Ireland might you be'?
The other answers, 'I'm from Dublin, I am.'
The first one responds, 'So am I!'
'Sure and begorrah. And what street did you live on in Dublin?
The other says, 'A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.'
The first one says, 'Faith and it's a small world. So did I! So did I!
And to what school would you have been going'?
The other answers, 'Well now, I went to St. Mary's, of course.'
The first one gets really excited and says, 'and so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate'?
The other answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'
The first one exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight.
Can you believe it? I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self!'
About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer.
Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters; 'It's going to be a long night tonight.'
Vicky asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian'?
'The Murphy twins are p………..again.'
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WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST?
The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning
and she asked the question,
'When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?'
Suzy raised her hand and said, 'I think it's your hands.'
'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?'
Suzy replied, 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you
and God just takes your hands first.'
'What a wonderful answer!' the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, 'Sister, I think it's your feet.'
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
'Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?'
Little Johnny said,
'Well, when I walked into Mummy and Daddy's bedroom the other night
Mummy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying,
Oh God, I'm coming!'
If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her.'