I've been away a while and since we got home - life just seems to have got in the way. Theres been no blogging or checking other blogs - in fact I haven't been near this machine since we went away last month.
Hopefully after Christmas and the New Year I'll be able to chat more regularly.
These came into our inbox recently and as they are sort of Christmas related thought you'd like to read them. Both are to do with women in one way or another - and - we know women are very important at this time of the year - after all how would things get done if we all went on strike. Open minds with the first one please.
One Flaw In Women
By the time the Lord made Woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime
An angel appeared and asked, 'Why are you spending so much time on this one Project?'
And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, and a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart and she will do everything with only two hands.'
The angel was astounded at the requirements.
'Only two hands! No way!
And that 's just on the standard model?
That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.' said the angel.
'But I won't,' the Lord protested.
'I am close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.
'The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
'But you have made her so soft, Lord.'
'She is soft,' the Lord agreed, 'but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish'.
''Will she be able to think?', asked the angel.
The Lord replied, 'Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.'
The angel, noticing something, reached out, touched the woman's cheek.
'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.'
'That's not a leak,' the Lord corrected, 'That's a tear!'
'What's the tear for?' the angel asked.
The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment t, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride'
The angel was impressed.
'You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing..'
And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice. They don't take 'no' for an answer if there's a better solution they go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel, cheer when friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colours.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail to show how much they care.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things things to say and everythingot give
THERE IS ONLY ONE FLAW IN WOMEN . . . . . . . . . THEY ARE NOT AWARE OF THEIR WORTH
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known.... ONLY women would be able to drag a big fat fella in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Bye for now, Merry Christmas to you all and a Happy New Year.